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Early Thoughts

As I near my half century of wandering this side of the universe, I can look back and look forward equally now. My great friend Scot, a fellow wanderer whose family blood runs from the other side of the earth, and I have forged a great kinship. The life and times we have shared together and separately have enriched us immensely. I want to share some memories of my family blood and paths with you.
Most of us came from the wilderness of the earth and we were full Anishinawbe with our ways and religion strong. The sense of empowerment that we all had as children, before we were touched , was strong as the rapid waters of Skibokahnneeng (place where the river widens). The sense of being a master of our world was shaped by my relations and place in this world. I was encouraged to develop my wisdom and conscience, figuring out consequences, and seeing mistakes as an opportunity to learn. I was encouraged on how to think rather then what to think. It was a free place with gentle and kind guidance from my family, the spirits and everything around me. It was a cooperative world where life and death was clear and that the gift of life, my short life, was mine to enjoy, even if to be caught in the rough rapids for awhile. I knew and still know that there are many calm waters ahead but there are more rapids to climb or slide on. I was encouraged to learn about this world, as much as I could, that being the purpose of all humans and to do so in a kind and nurturing way.
I was a young boy that trusted my mother, a central person in my pre-residential school world. She had never hurt me before and my life was rich and full with her and my extended family.I felt good and safe there.
That all changed when I was put into that place (residential school). A place that had cold walls, chilled floors and frozen hearts. At a tender age I was put into the company of strangers, a motley company of strict disciplinarians that had no children of their own. They tried to shape my dreams, my ideas and my tongue into theirs. Of course, I rebelled and defied them, as did my fellow sufferers, for all those years. Maybe even now I paddle against an invisible rapid. That war has ended or did it end ? They tried to make us feel inadequate and insecure and for some they might have succeeded. Us and them. The great divide that was created by their God was and is in their minds and heart, but I, for one, I see the humans as one still.
They say some old warriors never fade away. They get trapped in their past as the wonderous world around them changes, they keep on fighting as live ghosts of a long dead war. I am one of those boy warriors ,struggling to move forward, mostly without regrets, without nostalgia and without animosity toward former enemies. I hope to make up for my time that I senselessly and uselessly lost when I had a lot of possibilities. That is why I feel I have many things to create in this world and the next. So then this is the motive and reason for my creations.

One Response to “Early Thoughts”

  1. Malqalm Peters on 29 Dec 2006 at 2:27 pm

    That was a great story Ronald…I like your new work very much!!..Give my best to the family!!…

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